


My mate who had to wait (and swim across the ocean)

by howveryfake



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, but nothing explicit, its actually a funny love story, warning: mentions of rape and abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:27:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25445383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howveryfake/pseuds/howveryfake
Summary: Sorry not sorry! I've got the Twilight bug AGAIN :)
Relationships: Jasper Hale/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

I do not remember exactly when it all started – the beatings, I mean. I remember a few slaps to the face, here and there, back when I was toddler. But the first beating that really hurt – not only my body, but also my _soul_ – I do remember very well. My father beat the living shit out of me because he found me with my brother's school stuff. I was trying to teach myself how to _read_. Back in those days, in those surroundings, girls had no business reading. From early on, it was only about excruciating work on the fields. Basically, all my childhood was working, in the rain, covered in mud.

And it got worse. Because I tried to learn how to read again. And again. I didn't make much progress, because there was no one to teach me. I didn't know anyone who knew how to read. My own father was illiterate. My brother was supposed to be the first one to learn in our family, and I knew he would rat me out to father if I ever asked him for help. Actually, any time that he just suspected that I glanced at his scribblings, he would tell, and I would get beaten.

I was about eleven when I accidentally hurt my inner thigh. My mother saw the blood and quickly reported to father. Ignorant as they both were, they decided that this was a sure sign I was a „woman“. I was married within a week to a man who was willing to pay for me. They basically sold me, and for little money. „Please your husband“, my mother advised me. I thought that meant I was supposed to clean his shoes or something.

But it meant something else. It meant something that any 11 year old is far too young to experience. But I did, repeatedly. And was beaten again and again because I tried to resist. But he abused me for other reasons, too. Once he almost blinded me when he found a few papers that I have hidden – my only belongings in this world. I still wanted to learn how to read.

By the time I was 16, I was almost crippled by beatings. I was sure that my husband wanted me dead since I was not able to get pregnant. I still didn't know how to read. I absolutely hated my life. I hated the mud. I hated the stupidity. Even though I didn't know much about the world, since in my life I never took one step out of that godforsaken village, I simply felt that there should be more to life than this. I also knew that I would not last much longer. Either I would try to run away – anywhere – or my husband would kill me.

One night, he got very drunk and fell into a deep sleep. I wasted no time. I didn't take anything with me. My legs were not really in a good shape, since he broke one of them two years ago, and it never healed properly. That's why I was walking only slowly. I needed to flee right then, in order to get as much distance between him and me before he waked up and realized I was gone.

Imagine that, stumbling through the night without knowing where you're going. My plan was basically non-existent, but this is what desperation does to you. I would have probably been dead within hours: mauled by wolves or frozen to death, if I had not met the man who now I have the honour of calling Father.

I actually bumped into him. I was tired and was not watching where I was going, and my head collided with something hard. Like a stone wall. But that wall actually caught me from falling. I raised my head and saw the most beautiful, kind and _clean_ man that I have ever seen. The tall man was looking down at me with mild interest.

„I am so sorry, my sir!“, I managed to say. He let off me and I immediately kneeled before him. He seemed like some kind of royalty, and I showed my respect in the only way I knew. I so wanted to look at his face again, because even in the dark I could see it was heavenly beautiful, but I felt as if I did not deserve such privileges in my life. Also, I myself looked so bad: I felt like me looking at him would somehow offend him.

„Are you tired of life, my child?“, he asked me, after taking in my pitiful appearance.

What an odd question. But who am I – flea covered, stinking and broken beyond repair – to dare to refuse him an answer?

„I am, sir.“, I say and tears immediately start running down my cheeks.

„Hmmm.“, he gently pulled my by the arm and made me stand up. Then he looked me directly into my eyes. This is when I noticed his eyes were red. I was both afraid and thrilled by this. He noticed, but didn't really react. I tried to stay as calm as possible, because I saw in his eyes that he is making a decision – a decision that has something to do with me. He then took my dirty hand into his perfectly clean one. We both watched our hands entwined, and although his was ice cold, I could not be happier. It felt like being touched by an angel. It was the first of many gifts from my Father.

„You will endure three days of pain, and then your real life will begin.“, he told me. I nodded, although I had no idea what he meant. I trusted him. I even trusted him when he sank his teeth into my neck.

….

The first few months were challenging, more for Marcus than for me. I was beyond happy. For the first time in my life, I was _strong_. I had someone who was kind to me. I had a new, beautiful body. I was clean. I was given new, unbelievably pretty clothes. I felt like a princess.

But what was more important, Marcus thought me how to read. This was actually one of my first requests after I have awoken (my first request, understandably, was to ease the terrible thirst I was experiencing). Just as I drained my first human ever, blood still on my mouth, I respectfully inquired if Marcus can read. He laughed his wonderful, quiet laugh that I would come to adore. As I finished the second human, I respectfully asked if he would teach me. He nodded. That night he showed me all letters and explained how to read. Finally! Learning how to read was much easier when somebody helps you and you have a vampire mind that instantly and permanently memorizes everything.

Although Marcus rolled his eyes at my request, commenting how childish it actually was, he did approve of my going back to my home village. I hated them all so terribly. I did quickly with my appalling family, but for my husband I took the time to wait until he sobers completely. I didn't kill him quickly, oh no. I took my time. Even after all this time, I cannot make myself feel anything less than complete satisfaction when I think about my revenge. If that rotten piece of shit had a grave, I would dance on it regularly.

After that, time flew by. Marcus was my father and companion. We both read just about anything there was and spent incredible amounts of time just discussing and enjoying each other’s company. Although I know I owe this wonderful man my entire existence and every second of my happiness, he more than once has told me that he feels more so towards me. He explained how he has lost his mate, and stricken by extreme grief, has left his vampire family. When he found me by accident, he was already wandering for 10 years, trying to find something to give some meaning to his existence. In me, he found a hope of a future, of a daughter and a friend. His special ability of sensing connections between people enabled him that night in the woods to recognize me as an individual worthy of his time and affection. After living the nomadic, albeit luxurious life, he has decided that we should return to his family, the Volturi. He explained that 60 years of wandering was enough of a stroll, and that I should finally come in touch with other vampires. Also, in those 60 years I have acquired so much knowledge, but still thirsted for more. His family acted as patrons for artists and scientists, and therefore I would be able to gain more knowledge directly from the source. To meet some of the people who I knew of only from their works was very intriguing. Therefore, I agreed to his decision, although I had the distinctive feeling there was also some other motive for navigating us back to Volterra.

…

Volterra increased our happiness even more. Not only did it mean life in luxury, but also it was fitted for vampires. We didn’t have to worry about food, about exposure, about boredom. Volterra was Disneyland for vampires. Marcus' family soon became my own. To Marcus' surprise, I very much liked my uncles, and they too accepted me instantly. After a while, Aro surprised us all by mentioning my gift. I never thought I had a gift, I just thought I was „a bit clever“. Namely, almost after every conversation with an artist or a scientist, that person would experience some kind of an epiphany or a break-through. They all said it was some small remark I have made, or some of my clumsy questions that I tended to ask when I didn’t understand something. Apparently, those small moments shone a new light on whatever they were working on and that helped them to move on. In an instant, everybody started referring to me as „the muse“. I thought – and to this day, I still think – that is complete nonsense. I just sometimes ask silly questions, or have funny ideas, that's all. But, after Aro has made his discovery, I noticed my opinion was always sought and taken into consideration.

Decades went by, and the new age came. I was thrilled by technology and Marcus was very amused by the „toys“ I was gifting him with: all state-of-the-art technology gadgets. He kept on sending new people to come and see me. He said he loved when I inspired people to invent new products or improve their ideas. Still, I always had the feeling he was expecting something to happen – something besides this odd „muse“ thing I had going on. Sometimes, after some unsuspecting scientist was traveling home after a visit, he would get this look and seem a bit sad. He then would look at me as if he was expecting something, and for the love of God, I had no idea what it was.

…..

And then one of the bigger events in Volturi family history happened. We all had to go overseas, to some small place in the USA. One of the biggest American covens, known for their unnatural way of life, has done the unthinkable and created an immortal child.

That day on the snowy field changed my life. I was standing in formation. Marcus and I have exchanged a meaningful glance – we both knew that the child is not immortal, and that no crime has taken place. Uncle Aro was in a rather stupid position of trying to find a reason for punishment. And then, behind our back, we felt two vampires approaching us fast. The female one talked to Aro, while the male one stood close to her. He tried to act protectively, but there was no real challenge in it. I almost smirked as I thought that he really isn’t that keen on lying down his life for the little pixie.

And then, just as I realized that the entire time I have been staring at that stranger, he turns his head towards me, just as if I have loudly called his name.

I can't explain such feeling in mere human words. One would have to be immortal to truly understand. Here goes nothing: once I saw his face, I knew these features would follow me everywhere for the rest of my existence. It wasn't his beauty – and beautiful he was, if wasn't his virility that rolled off his entire body, it wasn't even his strength or clearness of mind – it was, as soon as our eyes connected, the fact that we were bonded, and we both knew it. Because he, too, was staring at me with an intensity and unbelievably strong longing.

While a part of me wanted to drown in his eyes and wanted to run into his arms and never let go, several things happened simultaneously.

The little pixie turned and very quickly understood what happened. Her heart literally broke before my eyes, her pretty face full of agony.

From Marcus, I could feel a burst of joyous energy and a quick, fresh smile.

I myself turned on my heel and _ran away_.

….

I heard his steps closely behind me. I jumped into the ocean and dived. Again, he was right there. I was not about to stop. I can't tire. I can do this forever. I will do this forever if it means that yet again, there will be a man stronger than me, who can abuse his power. No thank you. He probably will demand sex. Ugh! Even the word tasted foul. The only one who tried that was my husband, and after that I have never let anyone near me in that fashion, never, ew! I am half way back to mainland when he manages to grab my ankle. In pure horror, I turn around and kick at him. Something in my face tells him to back off, and he does. I continue to swim and after some time, I realize he is now merely following me, but is not about to go hunting me.

In an almost comical manner, I manage to slosh my way out of the ocean and onto the Chinese shore. Surely, he's right after me, and although I hesitate for full two seconds, still I turn again and run, wet clothes, barefoot and all. I think he looked slightly annoyed.

I am almost home – I just entered the Alps – when I realize I am starving. I can smell some smaller game and just hope I have a few minutes of advantage to feed.

But of course, there he is:

„Will you stop trying to run away from me?“, he tells, with a small deer in his arms, „Just gimme a minute!“

I guess he's hungry, too. I use that and run away again. His angry scream causes a few avalanches. I just keep on running. There you go, he's angry, he will want to punish me. He will try to make me submissive. He will try to lure me out of the protection of my Father. I will lose everything. He will hurt me!

I am beyond ecstatic when I finally reach Volterra. I literally fly through the city and hide inside the castle. All the time I can hear him behind me, all until I entered Volterra. As I assumed, the guards caught him at the castle gate. I am safe.

In the few days that it took me to swim and run back home, my family has returned. I find Father at his throne and he catches me in his ever-loving arms.

„Father!“, I sob into his arms, although there is no thing such as vampire tears, but I feel like crying nontheless.

„My dearest“, he gently kisses my dirty hair. 

We stand there for a while, and then he tells me softly: „Go and wash, change your clothes. Then come to me, we have to talk.“

I do so in record time – I don’t want to be separated from Marcus a minute longer than necessary. He again awaits me with his giant hug, and immediately I feel safe and protected.

„Dearest daughter, tell me why you ran away from your mate?“, he asks me with a small smile.

„My mate?!“, I ask in shock.

„That was your mate. You know of my abilities. I felt the instant and extremely strong connection between you two. He is your mate, of that I am sure.“

„But Father, I don’t want him!“

„You don’t want your mate?“, he asks in confusion, „Does he repulse you – that is impossible!?“

„No, it's not that, he is..attractive, I guess?“, now this is a lie. My mind offers me images of the golden-haired man and I know he is nothing less of gorgeous., „But I don't want _any_ mate. I don’t want any change. I want to stay here, with you. I am happy with you. Father, don’t let me go.“

„Oh, sweetest darling“, he hugs me again, but then looks at me seriously, „This doesn’t mean you will lose me. This means only an addition to your life.“

„But Father, he will have a claim over me. He can hurt me. He will want to..you know.“, I am embarrassed to verbalize further, but I have to, „I don’t want that. I don’t want any man to hurt me like that ever again.“

„Dearest, the trauma from your earlier life is still with you, but you can overcome it. You are not defenceless. He will claim you, but you will have claim over him too. Mates are equal. Hurting you would hurt him. Mates do not hurt each other.“

„I know the theory, father, but I simply can’t believe it, I’m too scared..!“, I cry.

„Come, my dear, I will be there with you for as long as you need me. But you need to see him now.“ he tells me reassuringly.

„NONONOnononoNOOO! Don't make me do that, I don’t want to see him, I am afraid!“, I panic.

„Darling, the things is, we had to put the entire guard on him and he's about to kill valuable members if he doesn't calm down.“ and then he smiles that beautiful little smile of his, „And the only thing that can calm him down is your presence.“

The idea of my dear brothers and sisters getting hurt or killed because of my cowardice is more that I can take. I hurry with Father down the corridor to a hall. Even from outside, we can hear a full-on raging battle. The sight before me is so bizarre that I have to blink to see if my immortal eyes are deceiving me.

My mate, whose name I don’t even know, has dismembered at least two of my brothers, and all of that while Jane has him under her full powers. Against the unbelievable pain, he is fighting off several members of the guard, while snapping towards Uncle Caius' throat! Uncle Aro is literally hiding in the shadows, shocked beyond belief.

In a second, I know that this will end in my mate' final death if I don’t step in. This realization unexpectedly hurts me. I yell from the top of my lungs:

„Stop it! Stop it NOW!“

As soon as he sees me, he stands still and looks at me with eyes full of hope, expectation and awe. I, too, must say that the idea of averting my eyes from him seems more and more distant.

Father joins Caius and Aro and the three of them exchange quick, quiet words. All the while, my mate and I stare at each other and as I take all the damage he has done, I cannot help but to feel…proud? The smallest of smiles threatens to show on my face, and it is as if he can feel it, because he graces me with the most glorious smile in history of vampires.

The atmosphere visibly relaxes. My sibling start searching for their limbs, and one of them even offers my mate a finger my mate has lost during the fight. I flinch at his injury and take a few steps towards him, but then stop myself.

„Don't fear me, my lovely“, he tells me in his deep, seductive voice. He takes one small step towards me.

„Close enough“, I say, but I feel it's not what I really want. My fear and my attraction to him battle inside of me just as hard as the actual battle minutes before.

„It's never in a million years close enough“, he tells me sadly but stays put, respecting my wishes.

„I don’t even know your name“, I say.

„Major Jasper Whitlock, ma'am“, he bows to me deeply. He has a very curios and endearing accent, „May I ask your name?“

Oh. Right.

„Thalia Volturi“, I say. That was not my human name, but the name Father chose for me: Thalia, the muse of comedy. He often laughed at my silly remarks and questions, especially when I was very young and learned everything from books, thus often misunderstanding and asking him for clarification.

„It is a true pleasure to make your acquaintance“, he smiles at me. I can’t believe this courteous young man is the same beast that just minutes ago was about to maul uncle Caius. By the annoyed looks being shot from Caius' side towards Jasper, Caius was of the same sentiment.

“So why exactly did you decide to destroy one of our finest halls and harm my brothers and sisters?”, I ask him sternly. His smile falters and he quickly looks around at the absolute chaos he has caused.

“You know very well”, he says, one eyebrow raised. As I don’t give any sign about knowing or not knowing, he continues more angrily, “They were trying to separate me from you! That’s punishable by death. You are _my_ mate. I was and still am well within my rights!”

And these words are more than enough for all my fear to roar up inside of me. I can’t help it, I run away again, and I don’t care if it running away is childish or pointless. But I don’t make it far, because I realize there are no steps following me. Instead, my enhanced hearing picks up my Father’s voice from within the hall, and I’m not above eavesdropping.

“…and you should know better, my young fellow, since you are an empath. Should you not be especially attentive when it comes to your mate? Or are you telling me that you did not feel her panic and fear?”, Marcus’ silky voice is laced with suppressed anger.

“I’ve felt it, her fear”, Jasper’s strained voice is heard, “But it makes no sense. She’s my mate. Why is she afraid of me? She swam the ocean to get away from me! What is wrong with her?”

“ _Nothing_ is _wrong_ with her, you stupid, insolent idiot!”, my uncle Caius hisses at him, “If you weren’t her mate, I would end you right _now_ and _here_ for such words!”

“Dear brother, while I do understand your fury…”, uncle Aro tries to calm everyone by his usual sweet talk.

“Why on earth would our beloved Thalia, the most kind and smart of all of us, be punished for all eternity with such an unworthy piece of Cullen scum, that is completely beyond me!”, Caius is not about to calm down any time soon, “And look at him! A common soldier, and what an appearance! The poor girl will be permanently terrorized by those scares! Every vampire in radius of a hundred miles flinches at your sight, you _dog_.”

“My beautiful daughter deserves nothing but all the respect and admiration, that is the truth.”, my Father adds, slightly changing the topic. I am very confused by uncle Caius’ remarks regarding Jasper’s appearance – while he does scare me, it has nothing to do with his looks. My mind shows me repeated images of Jasper – I think he is extremely attractive. He’s god-like. Tall, with a sharp jawline, full lips, deep eyes, with a devilish smile, strong…oh sweet lord. My mouth literally watered just thinking about him. I could not be more confused.

“I deeply apologize for my harsh and ungrounded words. I spoke hastily and in pain. Please, understand me”, I can hear pain and sincerity in Jasper’s voice, “I am being rejected by my mate. Surely you can understand the pain I am in.”

“You will have to forgive my daughter”, my Father voice again, “The trauma she’s been through during her human life is so severe that it affects her even in this immortal life.”

“Can you tell me more about that?”, Jasper asks, and I re-enter the room. I will not stand by while anyone else, even my Father, speaks instead of me. I and only I speak for myself.

“I would like to be left alone with Major Whitlock.”, I respectfully ask of the three kings. If he wants to know, I will tell him. He deserves that much.

“No.”, all of them answer immediately.

“I do not want my private life to be discussed in front of _the entire guard_!”, I object.

“It takes _the entire guard_ to keep your mate from destroying half of the castle!”, uncle Caius hisses.

“The guard are your sisters and brothers, anyway. There are no secrets between us.”, Aro offers.

“May I just add. I am sincerely sorry for acting like I did”, Jasper says, “I promise not to hurt any vampire not add to any destruction within these walls.”

“No, you won’t.”, little Jane smiles devilishly and in an instant, Jasper is on the floor, experiencing the most intense pain Jane can produce. Seeing him in such pain hurts me beyond measure, and before I can even think about what I’m doing, I am on Jane, pushing her with all my might into a concrete wall. Jasper is on his feet instantly; all the while Jane and I exchange deep and menacing growls.

“Maybe we can give the young ones some privacy.”, Marcus decides calmly, challenging his brothers with a determined look, “Daughter, we are all waiting for any sign of distress, and are ready to come in and help.”

“Thank you, Father.”, I try to smile a little, but my fear is already starting to build up.

As soon as we are left alone, I step as far away as possible from my supposed mate. He watches me closely and respects the distance.

Suddenly, I feel as if subtle waves of calmness reach me. The feeling is welcoming, but also weird.

“Are you doing something to me?”, I accuse him.

“I feel great levels of distress coming from you. I have ability both to feel what others feel, and to influence their feelings. I was sending you calming feelings.”, he answers.

“Stop it. I don’t want to be influenced.”, it makes me angry that he has a need to dominate me.

“I only wanted to help.”, he defends his position, but I can feel all the artificial feelings leaving me.

“I am not some puppet that will dance to your music.”

This takes him aback. I can see now that he really only meant to help me.

“Will you tell me the reason for your hostility?”, he asks me.

“I think it’s only fair”, I nod. And then I sit down and start talking. I tell him about my childhood, about the beatings, I told him about my father, and my mother, too. About my brother and about me. I tell him about being sold off like cattle. About being abused. I don’t leave details out. I can see the horror in his eyes as I explain what I had to suffer through. Bones broken, bleeding everywhere. Starved, beaten, degraded. Waiting to die and then trying one last time to fight for myself. Meeting Father…my life changing. Finally having something to lose. Guarding myself from losing it ever. Avoiding men, avoiding intimacy.

“So, you are telling me, in your 270 years of this life, you have never fallen in love?”, he asks me.

“I only love my Father and my family, but never was any romance involved.”, I confirm, “I wouldn’t even know what that is. And the little I know, makes me reject the idea to ever explore such territories.”

“But you do know about mates?”, he inquires, confused. Also, when did we move so that now we stand only a few feet apart?

“Of course, I do. But this does not apply to me.”, I say, and I honestly believe that, “I think I’m…damaged somehow. I am sorry that I am supposed to be your mate. You deserve better than that. And you were right, there is something wrong with me. I’m damaged goods. Come on, isn’t it obvious? Have you ever heard that upon meeting for the first time, a mate _runs away_?”

“So why did you attack Jane when she was raining her rage on me?”, he smiles now.

“I have no idea.”, and I honestly don’t have a clue. I just did.

“A mate cannot see the other mate suffering. The connection is so deep, that we feel the other’s pain.”, he points out, “So, I wouldn’t say you’re damaged. Your reaction was exactly how a mate is supposed to react.”

“I don’t know about that”, I answer, shaking my head, “I don’t know anything anymore. If I was intended to ever have a mate, and mates are supposed to be perfect for each other, would it not be logical that my mate is everything exactly opposite from you?”

“What do you mean?”, he asks curiously.

“Men who are so…strong, intimidate me. I would need, to be honest, some sissy!”, he laughs at that, “Yes, that’s maybe amusing to you, but I would need a real weakling so I don’t feel intimidated. I mean, I am scared now, while I have the entire Volturi guard ready to jump to my protection! And also..”

I guess I would blush if that was a possibility for me.

“Tell me, please”, he urges me on.

“Since I don’t want to—to be intimate…my mate should be..ugly? Repulsive. And you’re..not.”, I admit.

Somehow, he’s even closer than before. I can only stare at his beautiful face. Caius must be _blind_. Jasper is unbelievably beautiful.

“I can’t hurt you without hurting myself.”, he whispers, “And why would I want to hurt you? I want to make you feel happy.”

Ever so slowly, he gently caresses my face. The tiniest amount of fear starts rising inside of me and I close my eyes, trying to make the fear go away. But the touch is gone.

“I can feel your fear”, he states warmly, “I will withdraw any time I feel it, ok? Can we try that? Will you allow me to stay in your presence like that?”

Coward that I am, I will not open my eyes, but I nod my head. I can _feel_ him smirking happily, and I too feel a little bit of relief.

…

I am sure the entire castle is having the time of their lives. Everybody thinks it’s hilarious that there is a couple that is supposed to be mated and yet they are not. Wherever I go, I can feel the snickering and not-so-subtle jokes. Jasper follows me with the patience of a saint. The insults he must feel all time coming from all the onlookers must be horrendous. _What kind of a male is he, if even his mate rejects him? Is it because he’s so scary and off-putting? With all those scars…_ and yet, he brushes all those negative thoughts off and keeps on following me.

We are, truth be told, together the entire time. He accompanies me to my meetings with scientists and is highly impressed by all the topics I cover with them. We talk the entire time and soon I start feeling more and more relaxed in his presence. Yet, any time he tries to hold me or get closer to me, my panic rises and he immediately backs off. I feel his pain through our bond and feel more and more guilty.

Our unusual courtship lasts for more than three months already when one particularly beautiful night, we find ourselves in a rose garden all alone. We talk quietly and share a joke or two, and in the spur of the moment, he leans into me and gently presses his lips to mine.

I really, really wanted to respond. I really wanted to kiss him back. But centuries of fear took their toll, and I froze. Once again, he gave up and turned his lovely face away from me.

“I’m sorry”, I whisper.

“Maybe it’s really not meant to be”, I hear him verbalize that thought for the first time. Just a few months ago, I would be very fine with this statement, but hearing it now broke something inside of me.

“Don’t say that”, I say so quietly that it’s barely audible.

“I never had much luck with women, you know”, he smiles bitterly.

“Please, tell me”, this made me curious. Who would reject this beautiful man? Except of, off course, _me_. But apparently, I’m a bit “not all there” when it comes to such things.

And then he tells me about his past love life. While his first love, Maria, turned out to be a manipulative bitch, who abused his powers, and made him go through hell and back, his other partner, the little pixie that I remember leaving heartbroken on that snowy field, treated him as some kind of pet project. He was rather close to breaking things off with her when he met me. There were flings between those two women, but always it turned out to be some woman who had ulterior motives.

“So, there you go. I never hit a lady, never cheated, never abused or manipulated. And in return, I always found myself in some idiotic position.”, he sighed.

“And then, your luck changes dramatically, and you meet me”, I say sarcastically.

“And then I meet you, and you make me follow you like a god-damned dog, and no matter how hard I try, I’m getting nowhere”, he smiles bitterly.

“You’re pretty much done with me, right?”, I ask, and dread fills me up.

“I don’t see this going anywhere, darlin. The idea of being with you like this hurts me. The idea of being without you me hurts me. I’m stuck.”, he sighs.

“We both are.”, I agree.

He then walks away and leaves me alone.

I wait a minute. I wait an hour. I finally realize he’s not coming back. That realization breaks something inside of me and I start feeling pain and panic and loneliness and overwhelming guilt. I have hurt my mate. Other mates bind themselves to the other within minutes of meeting the first time, and I have rejected my mate for months. I have humiliated him and broken him. I am the worst creature that has even roamed this world.

I run, tasting the air for his scent, and find it leads to his room. But he’s not there, and I realize he has left through the window. The scent is faint and is about to vanish completely. In a haze of distress, I run following his scent, and it leads me out of Volterra. He has truly abandoned me. I run faster and after half an hour, the scent becomes stronger, meaning I’m getting closer. After ten more minutes, I can see a faint shadow in the forest, quickly vanishing to north. It must be him! Another minute and I know he can hear me following. I run even faster.

“JASPER!”, I shout.

He heard me; I know he did. Shouting wasn’t even necessary; he’d heard my steps already. Still, he keeps on running, albeit a bit slower than before.

“Jasper, please stop!”, I tell to the wind, “Please, Jasper.”

He slows down additionally, and then finally stops and turns towards me. There are some 200 yards between us.

“Don’t leave, Jasper”, I tell him.

He only stares at me, an indecisive look on his handsome face.

“I am so sorry. I have been so stupid. And you have been nothing but kind. I don’t deserve you, Jasper”, I admit, “Yet I want you. Please, Jasper.”

“I can still feel your fear”, he says.

“I know. But can you feel my resolve, too? I want to get over my fears. I’m tired of being afraid.”

He just looks at me, and I know I have to do better.

“And I know you are tired too, Jasper. You must be tired of being treated so unkindly. I am so ashamed that I too was a woman who wronged you. I know what I did goes against our nature. I can’t apologize enough.”

He then walks towards me, a boy does he take his time. I cannot take it anymore, and start walking towards him. My walk turns into a run, and in a matter of seconds I find myself in front of him.

“Now, what?”, he asks me, a bit annoyed.

“Would you please kiss me?”, I ask timidly.

“So you can just flinch and run away?”, he deals a low blow, which makes me angry.

“ _Porco dio!_ ”, I shout and angrily pull him towards me and violently kiss him.

Something about this makes him laugh, so our first kiss turns into a mixture of laughter, relief, and joy.

“Girl, you’ll drive me crazy”, he whispers. I hungrily demand another kiss, and he is more than happy to oblige. The second kiss is much more passionate than the first one. Out of breath (which neither of us need anyway), he asks, “Does this mean you’re willing to try?”

“I’ll try anything, as long as it is with you”, I answer and for the first time, I feel no fear as he closes in for another of many kisses yet to come.


	2. II

„…and then do you remember when she took the, like, what was it, a McDonalds straw..“, Caius started one of our funny family stories, but was instantly interrupted by loud laughter.  
„That was disgusting, no really!!“, Aro roared with laughter.  
„..and I came in and I'm like, are you really, like, are you seriously draining this guy through a McDonalds straw!!“, Caius slammed his hand on the table a few times, laughing.  
„It was that serial killer, the paedophile, you know the one who lured the kids by promising them McDonalds?“, I tried to defend myself. Not that I felt any guilt at all – I loved killing depraved humans. We actually had a world-spread network for catching criminals that were not detected by human forces. When we caught them, they could only wish for human mercy, because we showed them none. For us, those individuals were nothing but food, and food that we were allowed to play with. But still, it was the first time for Jasper to be hearing this kind of stories, and maybe it all would seem a bit creepy to him. I turned to look at him, and instantly caught his beautiful red eyes. He was smiling at me, sensing my minor insecurity.  
“As long as you don’t get any ideas with me, I mean, I’ll know to run away from you if I ever saw you approaching with a straw…”, my dear Verena said, and earned another round of laughter, and then she continued, “But knowing Thalia, that’s really not her usual cup of tea. Usually, she’s just like..” and then she started mimicking small laps, like a small animal would do when drinking water.  
The room erupted with laughter at my expense. It was very well known that I was a light drinker, taking only small amounts of blood, kind of sipping a nice cup of tea through the afternoon. Verena served that purpose just perfectly. We would usually spend many afternoons together, just reading, talking and then her eating while I was..well, drinking from her.  
“Lucky you! Because my one”, Stefano nodded his head towards Jasper, “is more like a..” and then he started mimicking long, deep slurps.  
“No wonder you look like you got mauled all the time!”, Aro commented, and we all laughed again, including Jasper.  
“Although, dearest Thalia, you did try out your mate’s former diet?”, my beloved Father asked me, smiling. I knew this was his way of friendly taunting me.   
“Oh God, I had fur in my teeth for days!”, I dramatically rolled my eyes, much to the collective amusement.  
“Well darling, you should have had listened to me”, Jasper smiled, “Didn’t I tell you to go for the buck?”  
“Yes, you did.”, I admitted sheepishly.  
“And what did you go for?”  
“…a squirrel.”, I confessed, and the entire Volturi family screamed with laughter.  
“..it smelled nicer.”, I rolled my eyes again and then joined the laughter. I was delighted to see Jasper joining in the laughter and also fitting into my family.   
“As if you didn’t have your amount of embarrassing moments when you started here!”, I playfully slapped Jaspers arm, and he grinned.  
“Oh please, enlighten us”, Aro asked, giggling already.  
“The first dozen humans all fainted, he nearly sucked them dry!”, I laughed, “And then we had Father standing behind him and smashing one of his heavy books over Jasper’s head when he was taking too much!”  
“But I didn’t drain even one.”, Jasper said, defending himself.  
“No, you didn’t”, I was so proud of him, “That’s more than most of us can say about ourselves. Well done, my love.”  
Jaspers eyes always lit up when I called him that. I was known for using endearing words to my family and friends, but “love” was reserved for Jasper only.  
“I wouldn’t have made it without you”, he kissed me and I felt all his warmth and love for me, “And Encyclopaedia Britannica, apparently!”, he glanced at Marcus, who laughed yet again.  
“And then finally I came in!”, Stefano announced, “And I fainted only once!”  
“Eh, what can I say. You’re a big fella, it seemed as if you’d hold on longer!”, Jasper smiled and shrugged with his shoulders.  
“I knew you would make a good pair”, Marcus nodded, “I hand picked you from a thousand humans. All for my son-in-law. I knew you needed someone special, with you being an empath.”  
“Thank you again, Marcus”, Jasper nodded, “I am truly grateful. For everything.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

We went back to our house near Volterra, one we bought very soon after I finally stopped acting half-crazy. I can’t help but feel embarrassment when I remember how poorly I treated my mate. I kept him waiting, I keep him wondering if there’s something wrong with me, or with him, or we’re both cursed…it actually took for him to leave me so I could finally wake up and realize I’m messing this up big time.  
“You’re thinking about it again, aren’t you?”, he smiled his crocked smile as he drove our Lamborghini.   
“Yes.”, I admitted, “I’m so…”  
“Don’t say it!”, he interrupted me, “Seriously, don’t. That’s behind us, baby.”  
“I love you; you know that?”, I said. What a stupid thing to ask an empath. He just smiled and raised an eyebrow.  
“No, I mean, do you know that I love you? It’s not only this mate mumbo-jumbo, I actually love you, mate or no mate, I really love you, you as a person.”, I explained.  
“I feel the same for you, darlin.”, he said, and I realized I even loved his manner of speaking: short, truthful and significant. He wasn’t someone who wasted words.  
“And I’m so happy that you accepted my family, too. You see now that we are not some kind of a menacing killer organization.”, I added, “I would really like for your family to get to know us in this light, too.”  
“Aww, babe, I dunno.”, he slowly shook his head as if he was telling me “no”.  
“That’s ok. I just wanted you to know, if you want to contact them or meet them, I’m ok with that, and I’d like to meet them, too.”  
“All right.”, he said while parking the car. I was just about to ask him if this “all right” was a “all right, let’s go and see my folks”, or “all right, the Lambo’s in the garage”, but he would have none of that. He quickly scooped my in his arms and jumped us both directly through the open bedroom window.  
“Oh?”, I giggled.  
“It just that…Verena gave me this idea when she described how you liked to drink..”, he smiled as he started taking my clothes off.  
“What..? Oh. Oh!”, I giggled as soon as I realized what he had in mind, “You have a very dirty mind!”  
“You can thank me later”, he stated matter-of-factly as he already placed himself between my legs. This is going to be one long night, and I was absolutely positive I would be thanking him later!

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Although we cannot sleep, we love our bed. It’s a place for not only love-making, but an intimate place for us to bond. We spent days and days in there, just looking at each other, talking, cuddling. I love listening to his deep voice, especially when he spoke with a slight twang – I found it both sexy and cute. It’s been only a few years, but being old as we both actually were, a couple of years was really an insignificant amount of time. We both felt as if we were newly-weds. He often caught me staring at him, and once he confessed how lucky he is that he was an empath, because he knew that I was staring because I was admiring him. This confused me, and then he addressed all the scars on his body. He wasn’t exactly ashamed of them, but he knew that they weren’t exactly aesthetically pleasing, especially with perfect vampire vision. But the truth is, the scars made him perfect. To me, they were a constant reminder that he was strong, undefeated, aggressive, male. All those things that made me feel scared before, now were a huge turn-on. I couldn’t get enough of his body, and I loved watching him, mostly in bed, but I also watched him when he started training with the Volturi guard. Once I got so hot and bothered just from watching him that he felt my arousal from across the training hall. We had to find a secluded place in the castle asap.

It was during one of such mornings, when we were laying in our bed, gently caressing each other and just talking softly, when the phone rang. We actually had one of those old-school phones, cords and everything.  
“You pick it up.”, I said, playing with his hair. I loved his locks.  
“No way. It’s surely not for me.”, he smiled smugly.  
“It could be Felix. He said something about training”, I suggested.  
“It’s probably that scientist that’s been waiting for you for the last three days.”, he fired back.  
“Ugh, string theory. Sounds boring. Tell him to try it with string cheese”, I giggled. The phone still rung.  
“You keep on ignoring your duties as a muse.”, he mocked me lightly. The phone finally fell silent.  
“I have other duties..”, I started kissing his chest, and kept on going lower and lower. Just as I licked the tip of the very aroused Major, as I called my Jaspers favourite part, the god-damned phone started again.  
“Do. Not. Answer.”, he managed to say, and I giggled around him. The vibrations made him even harder and I started pleasing my mate in earnest. The phone kept on ringing and ringing…Jasper suddenly got up, and in the next second the phone was ripped from the wall and flew through the window. Then Jasper got back in his previous position, and with all the peace in the world, looked down at me and said “Proceed, darlin”. And proceed I did…  
But half an hour later, there was a knock on our door. Jasper, only in his very low rising jeans, answered the door to no one other then my Father, who was carrying our phone!  
“I found this in the bushes”, he handed the phone to Jasper while I giggled in the back. He took one look at Jasper, his unruly hair and general out-of-bed- appearance and rolled his eyes.  
“Sorry, Father!”, I ran to his awaiting arms. I took the whole two seconds I need to put my clothes on in order to appear respectable.  
“Nothing to apologize about. I am glad you and your husband are happy.”, he said, and I swear both Jasper and I would blush if we could have.  
“I am sorry we did not pick up the phone, we were about to call you back..”, Jasper said, and then realized he was holding a broken phone in his hands, “Well, we’d use a cellphone. To call…somebody. Since the phone you called us on got thrown out of the window.”  
Marcus smiled and then said, “I would laugh out loud, children, at this situation. But I’m here to tell you something, and that is no laughing matter.”  
We both instantly sobered from our sex-induced haze.   
“What is it, Father?”, I asked.  
“Esme called.”  
Jasper stood dead in his tracks.   
“We need to go to America. Our friend Carlisle is dying.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I thought it would be a one-shot, and then I changed my mind...


	3. Chapter 3

„Esme, why did you do it?“, Alice sighed.

“You know why I did it!”, Esme looked at Alice, not bothering to hide her pain, “They might know something..they could help him!”

“They will only use this as an excuse to come here and destroy what is left of us from within”, Alice said, defeated.

“This family still is holding up, even without Jasper!”, Edward almost shouted, irritated. Everyone flinched at the mention of Jasper’s name. Edward didn’t fail to notice that and it enraged him further, “Yes, I said it! I said his name! Jasper! So, what of it? Alice, our father is dying! We have not even the faintest clue how to help him! We need all the help we can get! The Volturi are our only hope. Esme did the right thing. And if she wouldn’t have already done it, I would have called them myself!”

“Even after they wanted to kill your daughter?”, Alice snapped back.

“Stop it, Alice”, Edward growled.

“Everybody, calm down”, Bella joined in, “Alice, Edward is right.”

“..even you, Bella?”, Alice would have cried if that was possible for vampires, “Don’t you know what that means? As of this moment, h-h-he is deciding on coming here…a-and if he comes, she will too…I will not survive that, Bella, seeing them together…is it not enough that I see them all the time in my visions…”

“We talked about this. You need to stop monitoring him. You’re torturing yourself.”, Bella gently hugged Alice.

“I can’t help it…it is as if all my focus has shifted to Volterra…I am bound to look towards Volterra.”, with a pained look on her face, Alice closed her eyes tightly, as if trying to make herself not see.

Bella sighed and felt terribly sorry for her best friend. More than once, Alice has confessed that she keeps on seeing Jasper and Thalia together. She saw their shaky beginnings, that were filling her with incredible hope that things may not work out between the mates. When Jasper decided to leave Volterra at one point, she was already packing her things to meet him half-way. Her joy lasted very shortly, and the hurt that followed was unbearable. She saw their first kiss, she saw their first night of love. How gentle and loving and in the same time possessive Jasper was as he claimed his mate in the most intimate way. She saw the adoring and trusting looks his mate gave him. She saw how happy they were. They have a house. Jasper is included in a new family. Then she sees Jasper’s eyes turning red. Jasper is not on edge anymore. No one needs to control him or fear that he’ll lose it. Jasper is happy.

In the meantime, Alice’s eyes are distant again for a second, and then she nods her head sadly, “Yes, they’re coming.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“He can’t be dying. It’s impossible.”, Jasper said to my father.

“I don’t understand myself, my dear son”, Father said, “Esme called and said that Carlisle’s suddenly weak and..”

“What, Father?”, I urged Marcus. I was astonished to see Father at loss of words.

“Well, he was hunting and somehow tripped.”, Marcus looked at us, and I saw he was just as baffled as we were. Vampires don’t trip. It is simply not possible! “Yes, I know. I do not understand myself…but that’s not all. As he tripped, he was trying to steady himself by grabbing a tree and one of his fingers fell off.”

“What?!”, Jasper almost laughed in shock.

“And it can’t be put back on. It simply won’t hold.”, Marcus sighed.

We all stood in stunned silence for a few seconds.

“We have to go there, and we have to take Gottfried.”, I said. My mate looked at me questioningly, “You haven’t met him yet, because he lives a very secluded life in the castle. He’s one of the oldest of us and is very interested in vampire biology. He’s also very…old school. You know, people are food and so on. He won’t be happy about helping the Cullens.”

“Gottfried’s knowledge is the best help we can offer.”, Marcus said.

“I have to go, too”, Jasper said, “It is high time anyway. I left them without as much as goodbye, and I owe them more than that. And if I’m going, you’re going too, darlin.”

“I’m not letting you without protection”, Marcus said, “I am not sure how welcome my daughter will be there, given the circumstances. I hope you take no offence.”

“I understand. While I am sure no harm could befall her from the Cullen’s side, one can never be too sure.”, Jasper nodded.

“Felix?”, Marcus proposed.

“Very well. I’d also like to take Marek with me”, Jasper suggested.

“Marek? He’s awfully young, isn’t he? Why would you need him?”, I asked surprised. Marek was our newest addition to the guard. He was in his thirties when he was changed, but my remark about his age had nothing to do with his human years. What I meant was that he was turned just a year ago.

“He can make one forget”, Jasper simply answered and then looked at me sadly. It took me a moment to understand.

“Oh, I see.”, I nodded. He was aware of how deeply he wounded his former wife and Marek could be a solution to her suffering. Marcus realized Jasper’s intentions, too, and agreed silently.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Within a few hours, a very unlikely company of Volturi representatives landed on US soil. Jasper and I, hand in hand, both tense and worried; my Father as one of the Three Kings, which was a grand gesture of showing friendship to a common family; Gottfried (who was not happy at all about leaving Volterra and kept on making snide remarks about visiting ‘heretics’, Felix (who was getting bored in Volterra and therefore very happy about any kind of action), Stefano and Verena (Jasper and I decided to take them with us since we wanted to respect the Cullens policy about not killing humans and also we didn’t know if we would have our usual source of criminals as food on such a short notice, and we still had to feed), and Marek. During the flight I had opportunity to talk to Marek and came instantly to like him. He was Polish, and a very easy-going and happy guy. Although he didn’t even know who his creator was, he quickly adapted to his new life and actually loved it. I really liked his enthusiasm about being a vampire and share it, too.

“Is there anything that you want me to do, or not to do?”, I asked Jasper as we approached the Cullens residence.

“Darling, I just want you to be you.”, Jasper smiled tightly at me, “Thank you for asking. I don’t know what awaits us, but I hope for the best. The Cullens are reasonable. However, Carlisle is their leader and the source of common sense. His illness surely affects them gravely.”

Then he halted for a second, letting the rest of our group ahead. He took my hand and turned to face me.

“I love you, don’t question that even for a second. But Alice was my wife and I did hurt her. I loved her for a long time, and there is a connection. I will have to make things right with her. But please understand, none of this has an impact on my feelings towards you. I am yours, through and through.”

“I know and I understand, Jasper”, I smiled warmly, “You do what you need to do, and I will do my best to support you in any way I can. And I don’t know if I’m too greedy, but I would love to get to know your other family a bit better and make them see that a friendship is not impossible for all that I’m concerned.”

He smiled, but there was no more time for talking. The rest of group already gathered in front of the house. Jasper took my hand and lead us to the front. He opened the door. I saw the significance of this immediately – he was stating that he still feels at home in that house and therefore knocking is not needed.

We were met by a number of more or less unfriendly looks.

Jasper held his head up high and did the right thing. I admired his strength and stiff upper lip.

“Marcus, Thalia, Gottfried”, he named us in order of significance, “Please meet my siblings, Edward, his wife Bella, their daughter Renesmee, Rosalie and her husband Emmettt.”

“Jasper!”, a soft cry was heard from the top of the stairs, and a beautiful woman rushed down the stairs, almost sobbing, “Thank you so much for coming! Oh Jasper, you have to help us, this is beyond awful!”

“Esme”, he held his mother gently and I knew he was sending her calming waves, “It will be all right, dear Esme. We brought Gottfried, he is our best scientist, he knows all there is about our biology. We are all here to help.”

“Please go see him, immediately”, she pleaded to both Jasper and Gottfried.

Jasper looked at me and I quickly nodded. He was asking me to take over the introductions part while he takes Gottfried to see Carlisle.

“I am Thalia, Jasper’s mate”, I said as Esme, Jasper and Gottfried disappeared upstairs, “You surely know my father and king, Marcus. This is Felix, and Marek, from the royal Volturi guard. Stefano and Verena, our helpers. I would like to inquire if you have any kind of human food for them?”

“We do, Renesmee is partly on a human diet.”, Edward answered shortly.

“Why do you have humans with you?”, the big guy, Emmett, asked.

“Snack bar”, Stefano fired before I had the chance to answer.

“What?!”, Bella snapped, but Edward quickly tugged her arm.

“We drink from them. Small amounts”, I explained. I was met with horrified looks, “Maybe I should add this is voluntary.”

“It really is”, Verena laughed and rolled her eyes as she noticed all the faces filled with disbelief. Our eyes met and we both smiled at each other and shrugged with our shoulders at the same time, which made us laugh.

“This is not why we are here”, Marcus finally said.

“Who knows why you are here.”, Rosalie said filled with venom. I raised my eyebrows.

“Babe”, Emmett said.

“No, let’s be honest. Are you here to spy on us, or to ruin us, or to make sure Carlisle really dies, or maybe to hurt Alice even more? Or to make us more like you?”

“Stop it, Rose”, Edward said, “Carlisle needs help. We tried everything, and he keeps getting weaker and weaker by the day.”

“Why do you insist on being blind? Alice saw it all! We’re all going to have red eyes!”

“Alice’s visions are subjective”, Edward said angrily, “And ever since Jasper’s left her, she’s become unstable, and her visions make less and less sense! She keeps on seeing the guard, and part of a guard is in a form of a question mark, for God’s sake! She saw you with a child! Tell me, how is that doing to happen?”

“Screw you!”, Rosalie turned on her expensive heel and walked out.

“We’re not here to make you do anything.”, I said, “We came to see if we can help Carlisle. And yes, while you mention it, we are here so Jasper can apologize to Alice.”

An uncomfortable silence took place.

“Ok, sorry guys, but do you have a toilet? I need a human minute”, Verena said.

“Me too”, Stefano said.

“Sorry, guys, I forgot”, I said and looked at our hosts.

“Come with me, I will show you the bathrooms”, Bella said, “And then we’ll see about some food.”

The atmosphere relaxed a bit after that.

“Please come in, let’s sit in the living room. I apologize for letting you stand around for so long here”, Edward said.

“Thank you”, I said and Marcus and I followed Edward and Emmett. Felix and Marek were close behind us.

“May I ask, where is Alice?”, I said as soon as I sat down on the modern couch.

“She saw you coming, and she didn’t want to face you.”, Emmett said.

“I understand. Does she hate me a lot?”, I asked calmly.

“Not at all. She feels so much sadness and defeat that she has no capacity of feeling hate, too”, Edward explained.

“I see. I hope that she will show up, though. She doesn’t need to see me if she doesn’t want to, but I would really like if she talked with Jasper.”, I said, “Marek, please find Verena and tell her to come to me when she’s done with her meal.”

“I’m here!”, Verena heard me, “Are you feeling peckish?“

“You know me”, I smiled.

“That’s true. Knock yourself out”, Verena laughed as she offered me her wrist. I bit her gently, carefully that I don’t let out any venom, and licked the warm liquid. After a minute, I sealed the small wound.

“You ok?”, I asked her.

“Sure”, she smiled, “Do you mind if Stefano and I took a walk outside, the nature here is really breath-taking! Jasper should be fine for the rest of the day, Stefano said he took his part before the flight.”

“Have fun, take care, see you guys later!”, I laughed.

They both left the house hand in hand.

“So, that works out fine?”, Emmett looked at me with curiosity, and then summed up some courage and looked at Marcus, “So, where’s yours?”

“At home”, Marcus laughed his lovely quiet laugh, “He didn’t feel that well so I didn’t want to bother him with the travel. And since I’m older, I need really little. I should be fine for the next few days, and if I need anything more, I have my resources elsewhere.”

“And the old dude, and your guards?”, Emmett continued. Rosalie came back and sat next to him.

“We’re old school.”, Felix smiled.

“We would appreciate if you were old-school as far away from here as possible.”, Bella entered the room.

“Oh, that’s fair. Doesn’t matter if we kill someone far away, as long as it isn’t your favourite cashier from Target, right?”, Felix laughed.

“What would be fair is if you all stopped being monsters and killing people. It’s not even that hard, you know?”, Bella snarled.

“Bella!”, Edward said in horror. At least he understood he was in presence of royalty and that such liberties could not be taken.

“We’re vampires and our natural diet is human blood.”, I said coldly, “The most we can do regarding humans is sipping from them like some of my family does. Or we can feed off the rotten ones. But I will not judge any vampire who hunts and kills people, not really. It’s our right and our choice.”

Rosalie looked at me with open disgust.

“Do you not feel any shame about what we are?”

“Excuse me?”, I asked, as I honestly did not understand what she was asking me.

“We were supposed to be humans, we were supposed to live a life, have children, and then die! And what we got instead is an endless existence without any real purpose!”, she said passionately. I could appreciate her honesty.

“Oh, you young ones!”, Marcus laughed quietly, and I joined his laughter, knowing exactly what he meant, “It’s only the young ones who come up with such ideas!”

“What my beloved father meant was that you had it too good”, I explained, “See, back when I was turned, life was miserable. My human life was spent in filth, ignorance, pain, illness and abuse. My father saved me by turning me. Becoming a vampire was the only good thing that ever happened to me as a human! I love this life!”

“I was sold off as a slave to perverted men”, Felix added his story, “Until my maker found me and released me. I found family, love and strength in this life.”

“A hundred thousand years of life with this family wouldn’t be enough”, Marcus confirmed, “And as for purpose, you are very young and have yet to find yours. You all have infinitive time before you, and therefore boundless potential to make things right for not only vampires, but also humans. Study. Explore. Innovate. Help others. Be useful.”

I saw that we put Rosalie to shame a bit, but I also saw that we planted something positive into her heart. I recognized her as a smart and decisive woman, and it would be a waste if she lost valuable time hating herself, especially if being a vampire gives her so much options.

“That’s an interesting way of looking at it”, she confessed.

At that moment Jasper and Gottfried joined us. The atmosphere tensed immediately as we were all impatient to hear what they have to say.

“Esme stayed with him”, Jasper sat next to me. I took his hand gently, sensing his worry and sadness, “He really looks bad.”

“Gottfried?”, Marcus asked.

“I don’t know what to tell you, my king”, Gottfried said, “Such a young man, in excellent shape otherwise. But it seems as if he’s..turning to dust.”

We all took a horrified breath. This was unheard of.

“How much time does he have?”, Marcus inquired.

“It is hard to tell, but I wouldn’t give him more than a week”, Gottfried said. Edward abruptly stood up, and Emmett hit the wall. Rosalie covered her beautiful face with her hands, and Bella looked as if she’s about to burst into tears.

“What could be the cause?”, Marcus asked.

“I find no visible cause on him. His wife says he wasn’t bitten, attacked or under any strange outer influence. He seems as he is drying up somehow.“

Edward suddenly looked up at me, “Repeat that!”, he shouted at me. Jasper immediately growled and protectively stood in front of me, and Marek and Felix also appeared between Edward and me. I rolled my eyes and climbed over Jaspers tall shoulders to look at Edward.

“Calm down, Tex-Mex”, I kissed Jasper’s neck quickly, and then asked Edward, “Repeat what?”

“What you were thinking! It was too quick, but I think it something that could make sense.”

“Oh, I forgot you read minds. I don’t even know what I thought, it was subconscious.”, I said.

“Please! Try!”, Edward pleaded.

“Ok, the last thing that was said..”, I tried to remember. Although vampires have excellent memory, my little gift of being a muse made my head filled with too many thoughts and ideas.

“Gottfried said that Carlisle seems as if he was..”, Emmett started.

“..drying up.”, I finished, and now my mind filled with clearer thoughts.

_Dry, drain, blood, no blood, dry desert, dust._

_Animal blood, too thin, too poor, hungry, anaemic, seeping through._

_Growth, strength. Thick, healthy, rich substance. Something that will stick._

“You think he needs blood.”, Edward said.

“It makes sense.”, Gottfried and Marcus both said.

“He has blood..?”, Rosalie said, unsure.

“Babe, human blood.”, Emmett immediately understood.

“At least try.”, I urged.

“We have some blood packs from Bella’s pregnancy left”, Edward suggested.

“No, real, warm, rich blood”, I said.

“That can’t be it”, Bella said, “He can’t turn into a monster now.”

“I will ask Stefano if he is willing”, I offered.

“Carlisle won’t do that”, Rosalie said.

“Let us at least try.”, I pleaded as I took my cell phone and called Stefano.

“Oh darling, don’t bother”, Jasper smiled at me and was out of the house in a second.

“Oh, he’s going to get him, yes, I guess that’s faster”, I commented, and just at that moment Jaspers was already back, carrying a very surprised Stefano.

“Marek, go fetch Verena, I don’t want her to be alone in the woods”, I told Marek, and he was gone in the next second.

“Ok..?”, Stefano looked around, not sure why he was back in the house.

“Stefano, we need your help. We think that fresh human blood…”, Jasper started explaining, but Stefano cut him off.

“Yeah, yeah, I see where this is going. Let’s do it, just please, I want Marcus near me with an heavy object ready”, he said.

Jasper, Marcus and I laughed because we knew that he was playing at Jaspers first try-outs at sipping, which left us with Marcus standing over Jasper and hitting him over the head with _Encyclopaedia Britannica_ when Jasper would not stop in time.

“Ok, let’s do this”, I said, and I felt a wave of enthusiasm hit us all. Jasper was doing his magic, and sure as hell, we would need some magic.


End file.
